Where should you publish an obituary?

I’m a professional obituary writer, and I get asked this question all the time: “Where should we publish this obituary?” It’s one many decisions a grieving family needs to make after a loved one dies, and they pull together an obituary or some other type of life tribute.

It used to be that obituaries were routinely published in newspapers, but we see this changing as newspaper readership diminishes and new options for obituary publication have emerged.

Let’s break this down:

Publishing in a newspaper

Pros

• Traditionally, obituaries have been placed in newspapers. This is still a great option, especially if your community has a newspaper that is well-read.
• If time is an element—if you want to let people know about an upcoming memorial or funeral and if you don’t have contact information for some of those people.
• The obit can function as a historical record, and newspaper placement ensures that.

Cons

• It can be costly. Many newspapers charge by the word.
• Photos are usually limited to just one or two.
• Newspaper readership is down, and you may not reach younger readers.
• You cannot edit the obituary once it’s placed.

Posting on social media

Pros

• No cost.
• It’s fast. You can put something up right away.
• Social media posts can be very personal and are not restricted to the conventions of a traditional obit (chronology of life, survivor list, etc.)
• Friends and family can comment and add their own photos.
• You can always add more information and/or edit what you have.

Cons

• Your audience will mostly be limited to your “friends” or followers on that social media platform.
• Fleetingness. Who knows the longevity of a social media post? They often tend to be quickly buried in whatever is newer and can be a pain to find after some time goes by. This is not a historical record.
• You’ll need to monitor the comments
• With informality, you might miss out on some of the benefits of a traditional obituary, such as having all of the information in one place or listing a site for memorial donations.

Using Elegy or other online platforms

Pros

• This is a best-of-both-worlds option where you can list all of the information about your dead loved one for a low cost.
• Options to create slideshow galleries or include video.
• Participation from friends and family, who can comment and share photos.
• This placement can act as a historical record, combining the conventions of a traditional obit with the speed and modernity of online offerings such as links to donation sites and Google maps for funerals and memorial events.
• There is no time element. You could publish something right away or you could wait a few months when you’re in a better state of mind to honor your loved one.
• You can always add more information and/or edit what you have.
• Easy to share a link to the obituary on social media or by email.

Cons

• You will need to monitor comments (on Elegy, commenting is optional; you can choose to allow them or not).
• Some online services will place ads or commercial links within or around the obituary, and you may have no control over these (on Elegy we do not include any ads or commercial links).

Jamie Passaro is a writer of obituaries and other personal stories. She is the owner of the obituary writing service Dear Person, and is co-founder of Elegy.